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Mary is a 38‐year‐old mother of an 9‐year‐old daughter and married to John who was her high school sweetheart. They grew up together and their families were well to do. Both she and her spouse had good jobs. Mary was working on a graduate degree when she initiated therapy.
Mary’s presenting concerns included anxiety and stress in her graduate program, which she had undertaken while maintaining a full‐time job. Mary described other stressors, including feeling burdened by having too much to do and the fact that her husband did not do enough. She also felt that one of her professors was judgmental of her tardiness to early‐morning seminars as she has to send her daughter to school.
The precipitating event that led Margaret to counselling, however, occurred upon the death and funeral of a paternal uncle (“David”) who had sexually abused her when she was a young girl. When she was a teenager, she told her mother about the abuse in order to explain why she did not want to be around her uncle. Her mother, while upset for her and supportive,
told her to not share the information with her father, as he would be devastated. Mary agreed and never shared the information with anyone. However, she was angry and bitter that David never had to experience consequences for his abusive behavior.
As the oldest in her family, Mary had taken the responsibility to make certain that none of her siblings was alone with her uncle, and generally tried to avoid thinking of the abuse. She acknowledged that her mother also seemed to ensure that the children not be left alone with the uncle.
When her cousin asked her to provide a eulogy at David’s funeral, Mary got reminded of the past and was angry about it. The cousin explained that she asked Mary because she was a good writer and orator. Margaret broke down and told her cousin why she could not do so. Her cousin, shocked and devastated, understandably did not press her further. When Mary asked her if David had also abused her, her cousin responded that her father had not and conveyed deep sorrow that he had done so to Mary.
Unfortunately, two weeks following the funeral, her cousin miscarried a pregnancy. Mary felt responsible for the additional stress she had placed on her cousin during an already difficult time and was angry that she felt guilty for something that the uncle had perpetrated.
Mary so desperately wanted to overcome this additional burden because it was interfering with her capacity to function effectively at home, work, and school. She had sleep disturbance and trouble concentrating, was highly irritable, and was feeling a lot of pressure to perform well at work and school. She felt like venting her frustrations on her frustrations on her spouse and daughter.
Some of the possible reflection questions about Mary:
How long has Mary been experiencing anxiety and stress related to her graduate program and other stressors?
How is Mary currently coping with her emotions and stressors?
How has Mary's relationship with her husband been affected by her current stressors?
How has Mary's relationship with her daughter been affected by her current stressors?
How does Mary typically respond to feelings of anger and frustration?
What are the interventions that can help Mary to cope with her situation?